


The Winter Soldier's Retreat

by ididliterallynothingtoday



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes multiple personalities, Bucky's Plums, Bucky's vegetable patch, Domestic Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Gardening, M/M, Multi, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve finding Bucky, domestic feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:25:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6840688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ididliterallynothingtoday/pseuds/ididliterallynothingtoday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve finally finds out where Bucky has been hiding in the aftermath of the events in Washington. Only, it's not exactly where he imagined Bucky would be and Bucky remembers more than Steve could have hoped.</p><p>Some humour, but mainly the heart to heart Steve and Bucky have once they finally find each other again. Also Bucky Barnes gets his plums.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Winter Soldier's Retreat

“Sam, Nat, I finally have the trace.” said Steve breathlessly, as he rushed into the kitchen whilst carrying a small pile of paper. Both Sam and Natasha looked up as he strode over to where they were sitting at the breakfast bar and continued, “It’s Bucky, and it’s definitely him. CCTV cameras placed him in Salzburg months ago, but tracking him from there has been ridiculous. So, I called in a few favours. He’s still in north-west Austria, some town called Bren… Brennalm?”

“What do you mean CCTV had him in Salzburg? I thought last we heard he was in Munich?” Nat put her coffee down and grabbed the papers from Steve, holding them between her and Sam.

“We did! It’s not exactly mind blowing, they aren’t that far apart. It’s just he re-surfaced in Salzburg nearly 8 months ago, briefly, and I lost him again. I dunno, he obviously decided to go someplace recently that had cameras. It doesn’t matter how the pictures happened, it matters that he’s in them!”

“Dude, it totally matters how the pictures happened. You don’t know if they’re doctored or what. I mean I’m no expert but they’re kind of grainy. You sure they’re real and you’re sure it’s him?”

“Yes! I’m 100% sure. The pictures are from a totally reliable source!” Steve said, waving his arms around wildly in a bid to emphasise his point, because this was Bucky. Natasha just smirked.

“You got these pictures from Coulson didn’t you?” 

All Steve did was blush in return. It hadn’t been long after Fury left when Coulson made contact with The Avengers to reassure them that both he and SHIELD were alive and kicking. Natasha shook her head and Sam sighed.

“Alright Steve, when do we leave?” Sam asked before draining the last of his coffee, “Oh and by the way if this turns into another wild goose chase like Missouri don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Steve just rolled his eyes and shuffled from foot to foot, mumbling, “It’s not gonna be another Missouri. He’ll be here. I know it.” 

It was Natasha’s turn to roll her eyes, “Yeah sure he will Cap. I’ll go get Clint, we’ll all suit up. If we leave within the next hour we should be able to make good time, be there by this evening.”

“Thanks Nat.” Steve pulled the superspy into hug as she walked past him. After months of forced hugs she had finally caved in and started to hug him back. Steve thought this change was begrudging but really Natasha just loved hugs. A fact which only Clint knew for sure, but Sam secretly suspected.

\---

Within half an hour the team were packed and ready to go, but due to Tony being stubborn it was a further hour before they managed to secure his private jet, a clear flight path and actually get in the air. They were back on the ground that evening and, unexpectedly, there was a black SUV waiting for them. The driver of the car was a hulking guy in a suit and sunglasses (despite it being dark already). He got out of the vehicle and handed the keys over without question. 

Once the man had left, Natasha looked in the trunk; it contained two large black kit bags with an assortment of different tactical gear in. She smirked, “Looks like being the light of Director Coulson’s life has its bonuses Stevie. This is some good stuff.” 

Clint came up behind her and poked round the bag, “Ours is better though.”

“Barton your homemade binoculars and listening equipment ain’t worth shit. Now get in the car.” Sam said as he ducked into the driver’s seat. Steve was riding shotgun with the map, the route already planned out. He had refused to use the available satnav as he didn’t trust them, but had agreed to get some aerial images of where Bucky was holed up so they wouldn’t be going in blind.

\---

The drive from the private air strip to their destination wasn’t too long, but they arrived just off the property well after midnight. Their journey had mainly been filled with Natasha and Clint goofing off in the back seat and Sam fiddling with the radio, until he had just put his iPod on shuffle. Steve was tense and twitchy the whole way. Every shadow he saw out the window was something ominous and his mind kept going over the different scenarios in his head. Maybe he would have to fight Bucky again, or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he would find Bucky as a sad broken hearted, brainwashed ex-assassin. He couldn’t tell which was worse. Although he knew not finding Bucky at all would be the worst of all scenarios. Now he was actually near his goal his anxiety was even more acute. 

As they lifted their tactical gear out of the car and distributed it Steve could feel his chest beginning to tighten. He’d been this close before, but every time it had turned into an empty lead. He didn’t know what he’d do if this turned out a false lead as well. He looked around at his friends; Sam strapping into his gear, Clint checking his arrow heads, Natasha testing out her Tasers. “I’m going in there first.” He spoke up in the silence, “We scope it out and get as close as we can, but, I’m going in first. I’ll call you guys in if I need the back up.”

“Sure thing.” Sam replied, slapping Steve’s arm. The other's just nodded, it was same plan as last time. 

They put on their night vision goggles and made their way onto the property. It’s only defence was a small fence which they easily crossed and thick line of trees which would provide them perfect cover to get closer to the house in the centre of the property. When they reached the edge of the trees they removed their goggles, no longer needed due to the soft light coming from the windows of the single storey wooden building before them. 

The sight that greeted them was not one they had expected. For starters, the area between the tree line and the property was smaller than anticipated, a bonus for them as they could see the buildings entrance clearly and even partially see into the windows. What was also not expected was the number of plants and greenery in the garden, as well as the large greenhouse towards the rear of the house. It was going to be hard to navigate between the neatly planted rows of vegetables without making any noise.

“Seriously? This is where the great and terrifying Winter Soldier is hiding out? It’s like a freaking farm, Steve!” Natasha whispered, grinning.

Steve huffed, “Yes, this is where he is. Coulson promised!” 

“It’s a farm!”

“Yes Natasha. I can see that!”

“There’s a vegetable patch and everything. Are you sure we’re at the right co-ordinates. Looks different from the satellite images.” Clint cut in, pointing to series of bean poles, with large leafy plants curved around them.

“Are those runner beans? Because they were definitely not on the satellite images.” Sam said, trying not to laugh, “Nah but seriously. The guy that tried to kill us all lives in some farm house?”

Natasha snickered, “The Winter Soldier grows runner beans.” Steve clenched his jaw, it was taking him all his mental strength not to just punch one (or all) of them.

“Can you all be quiet please? Coulson said he was definitely here. The images must have been older. SHIELD doesn’t exactly have access to the same things as it did before. Now can we please concentrate?” He took a deep breath and continued, “We have to assess the building for the best route for infiltration, and check for traps and… things.” Steve’s speech lost some of its power as he glanced around the garden and noticed an artfully planted flower bed full of wild flowers.

“Well unless the cauliflowers have cameras in them…” Sam began.

“Maybe the runner beans are bugged.” Natasha added.

“Nah way, there’s bound to be sub machine guns buried in between the pumpkins and I bet there’s like some weird security system of robot peas or…”

“Clint. Shut. Up.” Steve cut in, glaring at the assassin, “Considering none of you are being of any use, I am going to go over the window and see if I can see what’s going on inside the house. If anything this is bound to be some sort of Hydra brainwashing facility and Bucky’s probably imprisoned inside while you’re all joking about robot peas!” he hissed as he began to shuffle off towards the vegetable patch. 

Steve kept low to the ground, shield on his back, and tried not to rustle the plants too much. His eyes were focused on the window trying to see any sign of movement from within, all he saw was the flickering light of the fire on the walls. The house looked cosy, Steve thought, as he made his way deeper into the vegetables.

It only took one misstep. 

There was a loud crack; he had been so intent on looking in the window that he hadn’t noticed a large piece of bamboo pole partially buried in the soil. “Aw shitshitshit…” Steve tried to back track through the garden, but ended up knocking into the bean poles.

That was when the windows flew open. “I swear to god, if you kids are trying to get at my cabbages again there’s gonna be hell to pay!” 

Steve’s head darted around to the voice, it was Bucky, admittedly speaking in German, but still it was Bucky. Steve jumped up bolt up-right with his hands in the air, “I’m sorry, it’s me, I’m sorry!” 

All he heard from behind him was Natasha’s exasperated “Oh for god’s sake!” and muffled laughter from Sam and Clint.

Bucky looked at Steve for what seemed like an eternity before speaking again, “Steven Grant Rogers… Those are my award winning Turnips. I swear to god if you don’t get out of my vegetable patch right now I will sock you so hard you’ll wake up in another 70 years.”

The laughter from behind Steve wasn’t so muffled anymore.

The Captain, blushing profusely, tried his best to make his way out of the vegetable patch without treading on anymore plants. His mission was somewhat successful as the vast majority of plants remained intact. Bucky stood frowning in the window. “Surprised it took you this long to find me. I thought I was being obvious.” He said, shutting the window just as Steve reached it. Looking inside Steve could see Bucky was heading towards the front door of the house. He followed, making his way along the edge of the vegetable patch.

When the door was opened Steve froze, unsure how to proceed. Bucky stood their awkwardly as well, until Natasha came up behind Steve and started talking, “Nice place you got here. I like the garden, it’s all so homely. Can we come in are we gonna have to stand out here all night?” She flashed her best smile.

“Yeah sure come on in.” Bucky stood to one side to allow all of them, never taking his eyes off Steve. They were still so wary around one another. 

“Kitchens through that way?” Natasha asked, peaking through a nearby door.

“Yeah. Just through the dining room.” Bucky shuffled awkwardly, “Is it ok if me and Steve go talk privately?”

“No.” Was Natasha’s immediate response, followed by shocked looks from all but Clint. “Guys I was kidding. Of course it is. That’s why we’re here. Jeez. We’ll go make some coffee or whatever…”

“Oh.” Bucky nodded, moving off towards another door, opposite the one Natasha, Clint and Sam were exiting through, “Living room is in here. More comfy.” 

Steve followed obediently, glancing around the room at the large fire place and thick rug as he followed Bucky over to two oversized armchairs by the fire. They sat facing each other.

\---

“Well this is awkward.” Natasha said as brought in a tray of drinks and a plate of biscuits. Steve and Bucky were staring into the flames and not saying anything. “We didn’t know what you guys would want, so I made a pot of tea and bought you some biscuits from the tin. If you guys don’t need anything else I’ll head back to the kitchen.”

“Thanks Natasha.” Steve replied, watching Bucky as he checked the tea before pouring it.

“You guys can have the spare bedroom.” Bucky said as Natasha left, “Bedrooms are out back, through the kitchen. One of you can have my bed. Well, I say one of you. You can have my bed Natshenka. The guys’ll have to share.” Bucky didn’t make eye contact with Natasha as she spoke, so he missed the quirk of her eyebrow at his nickname for her. 

“Sure thing, Soldat.” She replied.

As Natasha closed the door all the energy seemed to drain out of Bucky and he sunk back into his chair, tea in hand, and continued to stare into the fire. It was Steve who finally broke their silence.

“So, this all you do these days?” he asked

Bucky gave him a pained smile, “Yup. That and tend to my plants. Livin’ the good life here Stevie.”

“Good. That’s good.” Steve coughed politely into his hand and had a sip of tea. It tasted mildly flowery but in a good way, he stared into the cup not knowing what to say next. Things had never been this awkward between him and Bucky, least ways not since the first year they both hit puberty, which had been super awkward. But the tension that was currently between them was different. It was like the humid heat that comes before a summer storm. The air between them felt thick with the anticipation of words that had yet to be said and Steve could feel his blood thrum with all the things he needed to tell Bucky and yet he couldn’t find the words. He dreamt of this moment a thousand times and rehearsed every line and every question and now he was faced with it, he couldn’t bring himself to speak. He just wanted to sit and drink tea and stare at the fire and pretend that none of this had ever happened, that it was just him and Bucky in Brooklyn again. But as Steve looked over to Bucky, taking in the shine of his arm, the bags under his eyes and the harsh shadows of his face, framed by hair far longer than Bucky had ever worn it, he knew that could never be. He knew their relationship would never be the same again. They were different people now and really after everything the pair of them had been through who could blame them for having changed?

Bucky turned to look at Steve. “Aren’t you going to ask me?”

“Ask what, Buck?” Steve couldn’t yet look Bucky in the eye, so he simply took his time to put his cup down and allowed Bucky to continue.

“Why I saved you? Why I ran?” Bucky watched Steve’s every move. He knew Steve wasn’t a threat but there was a part of him that needed to just watch Steve. To drink in his presence so he knew he was really there. 

“I guess so Buck.” He sighed, “Why did you save me?” Steve settled his hands in his lap and finally levelled his gaze with Bucky’s.

“Because I knew you.” Bucky said simply. His face looked pained again, like he was remembering something he’d rather forget, “I remembered you. You were the first memory The Asset ever had and that memory was how I broke my protocols. He remembered you and then he remembered me.” Bucky took a sip of tea and stared back into the fire. 

He remembered being the asset, the soldier. He remembered his conditioning, years of it, how the man the Russians and Hydra had shaped was both him and not him. There were many things contained within the brain that controlled the body of James Buchanan Barnes, some were good and light, others dark and deadly. Steve Rogers was the light and it was that which had awoken the memories of James, of Bucky. The mind was once again changed as the two worlds of James and The Soldier collided and meshed. Almost as if someone had re-connected parts of his brain and together they made a new Bucky. One who was both the perfect weapon and the rightful protector and best friend of Steve Rogers. But obviously at the time Bucky hadn’t known this, hadn’t had enough time to process and remember who he was. The Soldier reacted to the new, small pieces of information filtering through his consciousness as though they were changes to his mission parameters. Instead of mission: confirmed kill, it became mission: rescue. After that there were no more commands, the mission had ended. Hydra had fallen and he had no handler to report to, so he did what any confused, wounded animal would do and fled. 

But despite all of his soul searching, thinking and meticulous detailing of the fragments of memories he had, he still could not find the words to explain these things to Steve. He knew they had never needed words before. He knew they had once had a bond that surpassed that, one that was strong enough to save him even in his darkest moment. He wondered if their relationship would ever be like before. But secretly he knew the two boys, friendship hardened by back alley brawls and poverty, happy despite their struggles, were dead and gone long before he’d become The Soldier.

Steve watched Bucky as he spoke, and he watched him afterwards as the silence from before washed over them once again. He tried to gauge what Bucky was thinking but found him hard to read. Although, he supposed, Bucky had been through similar training to Natasha and she kept her emotions very well guarded even in private moments. It didn’t stop him from longing to know what Bucky was thinking. 

“If you remembered me, then why did you run after you saved me?” He asked

“Because it was the easiest and best thing to do, for both of us. I was still The Soldier; I needed time to clear my head. When I first saw you again there was a part of me that wanted to go to you, to run to you. But you were my mission and I couldn’t stop… I-I was so confused. At the time it set off all these things, thoughts, in my head that I wasn’t sure were mine or if they’d been planted there. But now I realise they were just memories.” Bucky huffed and sipped his tea before setting it down and standing. Steve made to stand as well but Bucky held up a hand.

“I spent a while laying low back home mulling it over.” He said as he walked over to a small bookcase, situated next a writing desk which over looked the vegetable patch. The bookshelf looked fairly new and hand made. It was then that Steve consciously registered the faint smell of wood stain in the air. It made him happy to think that Bucky had been here, making and growing things. Bucky had always been good with his hands, but it did surprise Steve that such a city boy like Bucky had taken to gardening and farming so well. 

“Part of me wanted to be with you. To be Bucky, for you, but the soldier wouldn’t let go that easily. I guess that’s how I ended up in Europe. More like home turf for him.” He continued as he flicked through a couple of books on the shelf before finally settling on one and making his way back over to the armchairs to sit down, “I knew I couldn’t be your Bucky, the kid you remember, not with him still kicking around. So I went to find somewhere I could just… Find out what it’s like to be me. Neutral ground for all parties. I’m not that Bucky, and I don’t think I’ll ever be him again, but at least I’m not The Soldier anymore. I’m just an odd combination of both.” He looked up at Steve, who had tears in his eyes, and handed him the book. 

It was a journal, Steve realised as he began to look through it. But the dates were all over the place, spanning from the 1920’s through to the present day. Older entries detailed memories of Steve and even his mother (November 14th 1928, I had enough money to buy meat for the stew Sarah made. Steve was happy). They made Steve smile. Other entries detailed missions, kills The Soldier had made (March 20th 1986, Three dead. I can’t remember why. Why can’t I remember?). The more recent entries detailed Bucky’s life as it was now, how he’d gone to the market to buy fruit (Overcharged for Plums. Again). 

“It seems like you remember a lot, Buck. More than I thought.” Steve said as he continued to flick through the journal. His eyes settled on an entry that detailed Bucky’s training and he couldn’t control the pained grimace that washed over his face. He shut the journal after that.

“Yeah I guess.” Bucky scrubbed a hand over his face and through his hair, tugging at some of the knots in it. He knew he should probably cut it. “There are things I wish I could remember, and other things I wish I could forget.” He forced a smile at Steve, who was watching, “I spend most of my days gardening, or sometimes making things to sell. I made a couple of dolls last week.” He smiled to himself at the thought. “It’s either gardening or writing. I want to remember everything. I know I might never get back some things, but I don’t want to forget the new things. So everything gets written down.” He made a gesture over to the bookshelf, full of what Steve now realised were other journals. “Life is just simpler out here, like this. Plus I’ve grown the biggest runner beans ever.” He smiled over at his old friend. A lopsided grin that Steve could only describe as Bucky. It tugged at something inside him. 

“I-Do you think you’re ready to come home?” Steve asked.

Bucky sat idly picking dirt out from between the plates on the back of his metal hand, “Maybe. But, depends on how big your garden is.”

Steve chuckled. “Well I live in an apartment, so it’s kind of non-existent. We could get an allotment or something though. Maybe even talk to Tony, see if he’s got some place we can have.”

“Sounds nice.” Bucky had moved onto picking at his palm. He sat chewing his lip for a minute before he carried on speaking. “I think I maybe want to stay here for a while longer though. But I umm… I wondered if maybe you wanted to stay here, with me, for a bit? I’m not sure I want to go back to all that stuff yet. But I don’t exactly want to spend more time alone, y’know?”

“That sounds great Buck.” Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, who tensed briefly before relaxing under Steve’s light grip. “Maybe you can teach me how to garden properly huh?”

“Well I do have some weeding that needs doing. I’m thinking maybe start you off on that. But stay away from the tomatoes.” Bucky waggled his finger at Steve, “They’re temperamental at the best of times, but I’ve finally coaxed them into growing. I had the same problems with the cabbages at first as well actually, not sure if it’s me or the soil or…” Bucky stared at the ground, a curtain of hair covering his light blush, “You don’t wanna hear this do you?”

Steve bit his lip. This was actually adorable. It had been a long time since he’d heard Bucky going on about something that interested him so much. “Well, I’ve no idea where your green fingers suddenly came from, but this ain’t exactly the first time you’ve bored me to tears with your babbling.”

“Really? I can’t quite recall the last time I bored you…” 

Steve was just about to apologise for what he’d said, but then Bucky looked up at him grinning. They both huffed out an awkward laugh. There was still some slight tension in the air, but they were already feeling a little more relaxed around one another. “Maybe you can tell me about those award winning turnips of yours while we do the weeding tomorrow huh?”

“Tomorrow? Aw hell. It’s already tomorrow! The sun will be up soon. We should probably hit the hay or something.”

“Yeah. I guess I’m on the couch huh?”

“I was actually thinking we could bunk together. Pillows on the floor. Just like the old days.”

Steve really wanted to quiz Bucky on exactly how much he remembered of their days “bunking” together, but he figured now wasn’t exactly the opportune moment. “I would vote we take our… friendship, a little slower. We’ve only just got each other back, Buck. I don’t want to make things more complicated than they need to be.”

Bucky tried hard not to let his disappointment show, and failed. Steve wanted to explain his real reasoning behind sleeping separately, but he didn’t want to push Bucky to hard after they’d finally found each other. 

“Sure thing.” Bucky started to stand up and Steve grabbed his hand, giving it a small kiss.

“Soon, Buck.” 

The two men looked at each other, still holding hands. Bucky nodded once before pulling Steve up into a hug.

Once they’d sorted out they’re sleeping arrangements and lay down the sky was just turning the first purple and pink of sunrise. Both Steve and Bucky hadn’t slept as fitfully as they did that morning in a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> *Semi Civil War Spoiler*
> 
> I started writing this nearly two years ago, completely forgot about it and only just finished it. But I think it's funny in this fic Sam is really adamant about verifying the CCTV images of Bucky to make sure they're authentic, when literally no-one in CACW was like "Hang on, we have the technology to literally make ourselves look and sound identical to another person maybe this could be someone impersonating Bucky Barnes?".
> 
> Just some food for thought. That was one of the points that annoyed me when I went to the cinema.


End file.
